Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Mama Reads: Gifts for You and Yours
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As we approach the anniversary of another year of mothering, I thought I’d suggest some applicable reading to reflect on the tears, laughter, frustration and exhaustion - I mean smiles! - of the last year. If you are inclined to suggest a gift, or even to self-gift for Mother’s day, here are a few options.
Boston Herald columnist Beth Teitell’s book From Here to Maternity provides a laugh-out-loud, comic and sly look at the lengths “rookie” mothers will go to in order to get their babies to nap, to nab the best nanny, and in a very amusing chapter, to find playdates for themselves. Her slightly subversive humor, including her prediction that there will soon be name-books for grandparents who are unsure of what they would like to be called, will entertain even the most sleep-deprived new parent.
Tina Cassidy’s Birth, a non-fiction history of childbirth, is a full frontal, graphic but utterly fascinating read. This is not the heavily edited happy ending TLC “The Baby Story” version of a childbirth that will inspire you to go forth and procreate. She traces the history of midwifery, from the tale of royal midwife Louise Bourgeois, whose popularity soared after she delivered a male heir to Marie d’Medici, to the story of the Frontier Nursing Service that rode on horseback to serve the Appalachian poor in the early 20th century. She describes some extraordinary characters, such as the advocate for unassisted home birth who suggests the Purina Manual for Cat Birth as a reference for anyone contemplating giving birth at home alone and unmedicated. There is a wealth of natal-ogy – an introduction of the word “couvade” from the French to hatch, (the name for sympathetic enactment of pregnancy and labor by fathers), and two recipes(one for placenta cocktail and one for placental pizza) for placentaphagists, or mammals who consume the placenta after the baby’s birth.
Mamarama: A Memoir of Sex, Kids and Rock and Roll, written by pop-culture and music critic Evelyn McDonnell, describes her coming of age as a mother in dual roles: stepparent to two girls, and birth mother to a boy. Neither role, she writes, was part of her planned future as she wended her way through concerts at CBGB’s and Riot Girrrl politics in the NYC music journalism scene of the 80’s. You don’t have to be a hipster to appreciate McDonnell’s celebration of her inner teenager; in the midst of carpooling, grocery shopping and helping with homework, it’s amazingly energizing to consider that part of our (former?) selves.
Vanity Fair contributing editor Leslie Bennetts has written the latest take on the “To Stay at Home or Not to Stay at Home” debate, aka the Mommy Wars. The Feminine Mistake makes a strong case against opting out of a career in favor of the new “Cinderella Myth” in which Prince Charming is the head of a hedge fund, and Cinderella happily abandons her interesting career in favor of a life of traditional domestic bliss. Bennetts stresses a long-term view: consider the day when the children are busy with school and activities until dinnertime or beyond, and plan for this day for financial and personal reasons.
And a final word on an incredibly inspiring little book Loving Every Child by Janusz Korszak. Korszak, a doctor who cared for orphans in the Warsaw ghetto, encouraged intuitive parenting way before its time. He urged parents to rely on observation and reflection to guide them. He doesn’t dispense advice or theorize; his writings have a poetic, zen-like wisdom: “A child is a piece of parchment which has been thoroughly covered with minute hieroglyphics, only a very small part of which will you ever be able to decipher.” Korczak and his foundlings perished after a legendary death march to Treblinka, proudly carrying the flag of their orphanage, but his gentle spirit lives on through his writings.
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