Misstropolis

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Teen Sex? Not My Daughter…

by Abigail Jones

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“We’re filled with skanks!” Perez Hilton wrote on his website last week, beneath a picture of fifteen-year old Miley Ray Cyrus, the teen queen herself with her smoky eyes, tousled hair, and glossy lips blowing a kiss at the camera. The topic of discussion? The fact that one in four teenage girls in the United States has a sexually transmitted disease (STD). A new CDC study released last week found that one in four girls between the ages of 14 and 19 have at least one of the most common STDs, human papillomavirus (HPV), Chlamydia, herpes simplex virus, or trichomoniasis. African-American girls had the highest rate of infection (48%) compared to white girls (20%). And one of those girls could be your daughter.

There were 838 participants in the CDC study, which ran from 2003 to 2004 — just one year before I began my own research into the social and sexual lives of teenagers at an elite New England prep school (I later co-authored a book following the lives of seven teens during their senior year). Many — not all, but many — of the girls and boys I interviewed approached sexual experiences casually. Some did not use condoms and few ever had STD tests. During casual hookups, many guys expected girls to perform oral sex on them, and many girls followed through; all rolled their eyes at the thought of using a condom. A small group of students engaged in threesomes and orgies, which rarely involved intercourse but often included oral sex and digital penetration. Even teens not sexually active admitted they wanted experience.

I’ve spoken with many parents who genuinely seek to understand the sexual pressures of high school, yet simultaneously insist that their own sons and daughters aren’t the ones misbehaving. Andrea is more interested in hanging out with her friends; James doesn’t have time for girls; Emma is NOT having sex with her boyfriend. Riiiiiiight.

The reality is that teens are sexually active — and yes, that probably includes your kids, too. My sample may have come from one senior class at one school, but sex is not unique to privileged teens. The pressure to keep up is universal. Why? Because sexual experiences are part of typical adolescent behavior. Because with the right partner, they can be exciting. And because many teens think they need to have them in their repertoire. Girls often look to guys for self-confidence and social status, and the desire for sexual validation can trump common sense. For some teens, losing their virginity — or at least performing oral sex — before going to college is more important than asking a partner whether or not he’s been tested.

The effects of STDs on women are grotesquely serious, and include cervical cancer, infertility and the potential to spread diseases to other partners. Schools across the country offer required sex ed classes, but come on, at this point, who doesn’t know about STDs and condoms? The problem isn’t about knowledge; it’s about urgency. It’s about understanding the fact that teenagers face enormous sexual pressures (which are sometimes self-imposed), and the desire to gain experience often overrides safety. Abstinence-only education is hardly the solution; Cecile Richards, President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, rightly calls it “a $1.5 billion failure.”

But there are steps that parents and teens can take. The CDC recommends Chlamydia screenings each year for sexually active women under age 25, as well as the HPV vaccine for girls and women between the ages of 11 and 26. I think teenagers should have routine STD tests, because we’re talking about safety here…about life…so why not?

Parents, if you’re still convinced that your daughter (or son) isn’t sexually active, think again. Remember that statistic — one in four girls are infected with at least one STD. If this statistic doesn’t include your own daughter, it certainly includes her friends or peers. Just because a parent is involved and supportive doesn’t mean a child isn’t going to explore sex. Teenagers are supposed to try to break the rules while parents are meant to impose them — and equip their children with the knowledge and confidence they need to make smart, safe decisions.

Let’s go back to Perez Hilton. Calling girls “skanks” is presumptuous, but if teenage girls aren’t learning enough about STDs in school, perhaps it takes a celebrity blogger to raise awareness in a language they can understand. Miley Ray Cyrus may be squeaky clean, but the CDC statistics prove that at least some of her celebrity teen friends aren’t. The same could be said for your daughter. So talk to her. Now. Show her the CDC study. Show her pictures of what STDs can do to her body. Teach her about infertility and cervical cancer. Get her vaccinated. Do anything you can to help her realize that she has the power to protect herself.