I like the music blaring louder than ever possible on an iPod or car stereo. And the characters: the ones you can’t tell if they’re dressed up for the show or if they always dress that way. If they wake and bake or just smoke on musical “special occasions.” If their 7-year-old son is truly a fan, or if he’s just along for the ride because the sitter bailed. Enjoying the album at home just isn’t enough.

I’m a live-music whore. By this I don’t mean groupie or starf*#!er, or one of those other types who wriggle their way behind the scenes to fulfill their rock ‘n’ roll fantasies. Although I played a mean “Eye of the Tiger” on the flute, I never aspired to be a rock star, nor do I need to meet the band or know all their songs by heart to rock out to a good show.

I like the music blaring louder than ever possible on an iPod or car stereo. And the characters: the ones you can’t tell if they’re dressed up for the show or if they always dress that way. If they wake and bake or just smoke on musical “special occasions.” If their 7-year-old son is truly a fan, or if he’s just along for the ride because the sitter bailed. Enjoying the album at home just isn’t enough.

I’ve seen shows at every single Boston music venue over the past 20 years, as well as halls and joints in Cambridge, Somerville, and Worcester. In high school my mom and I waited nine hours in the snow at the Providence Civic Center to get Bon Jovi tickets. I’ve taken the commuter rail to Foxboro Stadium to see The Rolling Stones, the shuttle to NYC to see The Shins, and a private plane to a Phish Concert on the Maine/Canadian border. Still, I needed a better strategy.

How could I get tickets to the hottest shows, assess which tickets are worth face value and which venues are worth the hike? I signed up for ticket alerts, made friends with scalpers, joined Stub Hub, attending silent charity auctions, even upgraded my American Express. Just when I thought I had groomed the variables into an equation for success, Mohegan Sun popped up on my radar and made my plan look weak.

I originally went to Mohegan Sun in April to learn about Project Horizon, which includes the construction of Casino of the Wind (scheduled to open August 29) and a new hotel tower, retail and meeting space. As a non-gambler, I couldn’t fully appreciate what were sure to be improvements to an already grand casino, but I did my best. What really piqued my interest was the new Margaritaville restaurant, slated to open in the Fall and that Jimmy Buffet himself was rumored to be performing an in-restaurant concert sometime around opening. Sold!

The next time I went with my husband to scope it out. We thought we would lay low, play a little blackjack, order room service. Were we wrong. Instead, we found a music-lover’s one-stop shop, where we non-gambling types could peacefully coexist with – well everyone else.

I expected Mohegan to be all neon and showgirls, like a mini Vegas, or worse, Atlantic City. I was ready for high hair, track suits and mafia-types with big rings. Instead, I found a chic, tasteful grand entrance, native American inspired décor and even men without hair product. Less the cheesy gambling den I had envisioned, it was more like a five-star resort with all the amenities. Sure, there were slots and tables and gambling galore just ahead, but for those like me who thought that casinos were only for gamblers, things were looking up!

After a drive from Boston that was under two hours, even on Friday at rush hour, we checked into our room in the main hotel tower. Awaiting us were tickets to country music legend Dolly Pardon’s show in the Mohegan Sun Arena, a venue that is a music lover’s dream: intimate (about the size of BU’s Agannis Arena where all the seats are good), low security (so fans call out to Dolly or whoever’s playing, close enough for her to hear and respond) and outstanding acoustics. Diverse enough crowd, though chock full of blue-hairs and gay men. Dolly isn’t the only act to draw a full house: Willie Nelson, The New Kids, Janet Jackson, Enrique Iglesias, The Who and Elton John smiled out from posters while we were there. And upcoming events include The “Drop Kick” Dance Party with the Flutie Brothers Band August 31st and Trace Adkins with Kellie Pickler September 12th.

The next day we took a hard-hat tour of the casino and as it concluded, we walked past the Wolf Den, a semicircular, wall-less hotspot with what seemed like a handful of tables and chairs. The real action was in the line outside the ropes that had formed by 9:00 a.m. for the band Scrap Metal, a mish-mash of former members of metal bands who had come together to perform a late-afternoon show. The Wolf Den’s limited seating and intimate view of acts like Richie Havens, Chubbie Checker, Bonnie Tyler, and Alexa Rae Joel draw crowds hoping to make it behind the velvet ropes.

Later, we had lunch at Todd English’s Tuscany and dinner at the Longhouse steakhouse. Both restaurants offered impeccable service and atmosphere that made us forget we were inside a casino. In between we poked around some upscale shops that might be found on Newbury Street or Copley.

Saturday night, we were back at the Mohegan Sun Arena for comedian Kevin James, which allowed us to mix it up, but I heard that it’s not uncommon to have two musical acts in that venue in the same weekend. (Hurrah!) We were also able to sneak a peek in The Cabaret theater, a Moulin Rouge-style intimate room, which features more traditional entertainment and comedy acts like Joan Collins, the Indigo Girls, and The Last comic Standing. The following morning, we had champagne brunch at Pompeii & Caesar, followed by a massage at the Elemis Spa, a great way to wind down an action packed weekend.

With all the shopping, good food, and entertainment, we never left the casino for a minute. Unlike a typical music-centered weekend, there was no worry about parking (plenty on-site), we didn’t need sunscreen, we could rally for a nap whenever we wanted one (our room was just steps away from the action), and we had plenty of choices on how to spend our time – so many that we didn’t feel obligated to focus on the many casino games that attract visitors to Mohegan Sun in the first place.

All this, combined with the diverse musical lineup in three separate indoor venues, moves Mohegan to the top of my list of “must watch” venues for live music, a destination that is well worth the journey.

A little over two years ago something very surprising happened to me. It started with a movie my kids begged me to buy - not Spiderman III or Superbad - but Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera. I had no idea then what amazing bonus features I’d discover in that dvd.

As we watched the movie, I grew more and more curious about the actor playing the Phantom. Who was he? Why hadn’t I seen him before? What was his name?

Gerard Butler the credits told me. Gerard Butler? Immediately, I Googled him.

Like a good phantom, he yielded thousands of results. Known as a guy who has women falling at his feet but who remains a gentleman, Gerard Butler I learned, was a leading man on the rise. The star, along with Thandie Newton, Jeremy Piven and Ludacris, of Guy Ritchie’s new film, RocknRolla slated for release on October 10th; King Leonidas in 300; Dracula in Dracula 2000; Attila in Attila the Hun and thankfully in development on a romantic comedy with Katherine Heigl called The Ugly Truth.

Out of curiosity I clicked on Google’s second link - gerardbutler.net, the “officially unofficial Gerry Butler Web Source!” (exclamation point their own). It was a fan club. Great. But thinking the fan-girls might be entertaining or perhaps even worthy of an article, I started reading the forum.

And then the most bizarre thing happened. The more I read, the more I liked it… and the more I liked them. I realized the “fan-girls” were actually incredibly interesting, smart women. They came from all walks of life - businesswomen, writers, teachers, stay-at-home moms, retirees, students working toward their degrees - and happened to meet on the site because of a common interest. Before I could say Andrew Lloyd Webber, I became a member too.

“It’s been a big part of my life,“ said Marg Jorgensen, 71, of Rockaway, NJ. “When I first joined, they were organizing a trip to Scotland. I didn’t know anyone, but I began talking to one of the ladies on a regular basis, and we decided to go and share a room.” Jorgensen, who is a retired art teacher, had never joined an online club before, and said she believes in thinking outside the box and taking chances on finding new interests. She joined GerardButler.net similarly after watching the same movie, and hasn’t looked back.

“Never in a million years had I expected to make friends there,” she said. “The ladies are so funny and clever.” Not only has she made friends, but she’s learned new skills as well. “I decided to pick up a Photoshop package and I started playing with it. I’ve also been making videos and slideshows… It’s amazing, I enjoy it so much.”

Carolyn Firestone, a producer of WBZ Radio’s Women’s Watch, was also surprised to make connections on the website. She had interviewed Butler just prior to the time his blockbuster movie, 300, hit theaters and provided the four-part interview to the website. She was as stunned as anyone to find online connections.

“I was really surprised at how nice everyone was,” she said. “I thought I would just come and go and that would be it. I’d spent some time researching the site to get a feel for it, and then I felt I’d gotten to know some of the women through their posts. It’s the only site I felt comfortable with.”

Susan Webster, a medical transcriptionist from Dedham admits she never expected to make good friends online. “I don’t have tremendous self-confidence, and wondered how I’d be accepted.” The connections she’s made have boosted her self-confidence in ways she never expected, such as a series of children’s books that she hopes to publish one day. Webster is also a member of an online forum for gastric bypass support. She had her surgery in 2007 and says talking to others has helped in her recovery. “You realize you’re not alone...”

Annielee, 63, (who prefers to go by her screen name) is a grandmother with a degree in psychology. She said she was “flabbergasted” at the idea of making friends online. “If you’d asked me two and a half years ago, I’d have said there was no way would I ever do that, [But] it’s such a great place, full of bright, interesting, thoughtful people,” that she is now a proponent of online friendships. She’s also found creative inspiration through her new online friendships.

“I hadn’t written anything but genealogy for years,” she said. “Then I started writing limericks (on a sub-forum on the website) and I’d be washing dishes or taking a shower and lines of poetry would jump into my head. So I sat down and started writing them down.” She has since created her own poetry blog and taught herself how to create graphics.

“I’ve always wanted to be an artist,” she said. “This gave me an outlet for that artistic urge.”

With all of the warnings of online predators and the dangers of the Internet, it may be difficult to wrap your head around the idea of talking to strangers online. Before joining an online community, research for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable and get a feel for the types of people there. No matter what you’re particular interests might be, however, there is a place for you to connect with others who share your interest and the rewards can be huge.

For me, I’ve been rewarded by widening my circle and daring to become involved in something larger than myself. As a result, I’ve traveled to new places for club events, participated in fund raisers (GerardButler.Net has raised over $270,000 for a variety of charities.) and met people from all over the world.

To my great surprise I’ve made friendships that I hope to have for life and most importantly, I’ve become a happier person because of them.

This just in… Nantucket gets very crowded in the summer.

A helpful hint… avoid the crowds.

Nantucket’s Main Street can be a zoo, and the traffic around the rotaries (yes, plural as of spring ’07) is enough to make you more aggravated than a priest in P-town. The best solution is to get out of town. Nantucket’s beauty resides in its nearly 50 miles of beaches and the rolling hills of the middle moors. There are many peaceful spots; you just have to know where to find them. Don’t avoid town altogether, just visit before 9 am while the streets are still quiet, or after 8 pm when they’re lamp-lit and charming.

Almost every summer of my life has been spent on this magical island. Here are some more helpful hints, and my favorite places to…

get coffee and the paper:
Head to the airport where papers arrive first, as early as 7 am (depending on the fog). In town go to The Hub on Main Street, the spot where my parents first laid eyes on each other during the summer of 1963.

buy sandwiches for the beach:
The sandwich kings – Something Natural, Henry’s Jr. and Provisions – get all the buzz and deservedly so. At the risk of bugging my Sconset friends who love their quiet, serene life, I’ll add Claudette’s in Sconset to the list. They use the freshest ingredients and make the best cookies on the island. (Post Office Sq., Siasconset, 508/257-6622).

spend a day at the beach: 
You can’t go wrong with any beach along the south shore, though my favorite spots include Nodabeer and Madequecham. Actually my favorite spot changes each year depending on the location of sandbars which shift with winter weather patterns. Sandbars make the surf gentler for small swimmers and steadier for body surfing and boogie boarding. Pack a lunch, bring life-vests for little ones, and forget the rest of the world.

*Body surfing and boogie boarding is traditionally best at low tide. Get a tide chart at any fishing outfitter and go during a falling or, better yet, low tide.

buy fresh fish:
Dave Glidden of Glidden’s Seafood is the man – Nantucket’s resident guru on how to prepare anything caught in the sea. Glidden’s has been a family-owned business for decades.

Tell him Charlie Gifford sent you… and he will probably charge you double.

catch fresh fish:
Nantucket has some of the best sport fishing along the east coast. Escape the trollers that line up in town and head west to Madaket. Captain Tom Mleczko has fished Nantucket for over 25 years and no one knows the water better.

have cocktails out with friends:
Pre-dinner: The Jetties Restaurant - brand new this season, (the website is still in development). A shack on Jetties Beach, this is a fun, low key spot with a killer view; worth checking out after the beach-goers depart for the day.

Post dinner: The Straight Wharf bar is still going strong, though it can turn into the STAR WARS (1977) bar scene late night. If in town, check out the back bar at the Ropewalk out at the end of Straight Wharf in the Boat Basin. Just be careful not to tip back in your chair and fall into the water; (I’ve seen it happen).

have a romantic dinner:
Back deck at Straight Wharf Restaurant still takes the cake. My wife and I also like the back patio at Le Languedoc. I recommend the English Muffin burger.

go out to brunch:
I don’t really do brunch, but the breakfast at Black-Eyed Susan’s is great. Don’t be intimidated by the line, it’s worth the wait. Grab a paper at the Hub and hang out front. For breakfast on the run, grab an egg sandwich and coffee at Lucky’s (a convenient store) on West Creek Road.

escape:
Great Point… when the piping plovers allow. Closed now until late July or whenever the baby pipings hatch. You definitely need 4WD for the 6 mile drive through extremely soft sand. You’ll also have to stop at the Great Point station and buy a beach pass, and let air out of your tires. Pack a cooler and casting rods and make the trek for sunset. Great Point is truly unlike any other place around – as good as it gets.

dance:
No good evening is complete without a trip to The Box. Save for the smoking porch, the place hasn’t changed since I snuck in there at age 14 for my first drink.

skinny-dip:
Brant point. 1 AM.

Some weeks ago while thumbing through the Spring 2008 Fashion & Beauty issue of T, the New York Times style magazine, I came across the “The Talk” page, the section where T highlights “words on the street” - cutting-edge neologisms that keep readers up-to-date with the hippest lexicon.

Two of the words highlighted made my jaw drop:

underboob: “a newly fetishized anatomical zone where the lower part of the breast meets the torso, popularized by ‘80s rock chicks in cutoff tank tops; recently rediscovered by girls-gone-wild devotees and celebutantes with an appreciation for ironic excess…”

fifteen/fifty-one: “a numerical neologism used to describe the optical illusion created by “cool mom” 50-something women who resemble their teenage daughters from behind, but from the front look like a member of the First Wives Club...”

I laughed at first, as maybe you are now. How random. Who came up with these words? Who were these witty word generators “on the street”?

But the more I thought about them, the less funny they became. I realized that in a span of a few minutes, I’d suddenly become conscious of a body part I’d never before recognized: my underboob. I wondered, “What did mine look like? Was it attractive relative to other women’s?” I could only imagine what 50-something women were asking themselves. And so I got upset. Why do hip semantics in popular culture have to involve fetishizing part of a woman’s breast and criticizing the derrière of a “cool mom”?

Were these subtle attempts to knock down women’s self-esteem? Or was I just taking “The Talk” all too seriously?

I don’t think so. In this so-called post-feminist society, we are all too tolerant of propagating anti-feminist language. Underboob and fifteen/fifty-one are just like cougar; new and misogynistic terms that are continuing to keep women at bay. We need to be more conscious about how this is affecting us.

When I first wrote about the Cougar phenomenon on this site, I noted that by accepting labels such as cougar and MILF, we women are partaking in our own dis-empowerment. We are aiding our own objectification – and laughing about it. In 2008, it’s as if we are abetting a second backlash against ourselves.

Susan Faludi called attention to the first in her 1991 book, Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women. She argued that in the 1980s, an anti-feminist counter-current threatened to undo the progress of the women’s movement. How? Mainstream media – with conservative groups backing them – were creating and supporting myths that successful working women were childless, husbandless, and generally unhappy. They were calling attention to women’s failures in their traditional roles as wives and mothers and making women feel guilty about having career ambitions.

It’s been 17 years since Faludi’s book came out. The backlash she refers to has subsided; women are forging ahead on all professional fronts, and raising families, too. We have more women in higher corporate and political positions than ever before: women like Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, Nancy Pelosi, and Condoleezza Rice, to name a few. And powerful mothers, too, like Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton. (And You!)

But here’s where we’re coming up against a second backlash. Now that we’ve become more comfortable in our working and mothering roles, it seems we have yet another thing to tackle: our sex. Not our gender, but our sex: the sex we are or are not having. It’s as if we’re being challenged: You think you’re an accomplished woman? Think you have the corner office, the Tribeca loft, the right invitations, the right to date who you want – say, a younger man?

Maybe you have all of the above, but it’s this last part - your sex - that’s getting the most attention, press coverage, and name calling. You’re a cougar. Or showing your underboob. Or flaunting your derriere, a la fifteen/fifty-one. These are sure ways to detract from a woman’s success.

We need to be conscious of semantics here, and of what’s going on, to make sure that in between giggles and blushed cheeks we don’t end up inadvertently hurting ourselves and reversing the tide of progress. 

Cougars have been on the prowl a lot recently. At least, that’s what it seems like when picking up a newspaper or magazine these days. From The New York Times to Harper’s Bazaar to CNBC to Star Jones in the New York Post, it’s hard to go a week without reading something about the cougar – that older woman who dates (i.e. “preys on”) younger men.

Back when I first heard the term some years ago, I thought it was funny – a liberal, coquettish take on a cultural phenomenon that had been little talked about at the time. I laughed along with others at the title of a self-help book called Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men and then again when dating sites started to spring up online (gocougar.com, dateacougar.com, and urbancougar.com). Soon Internet social networking groups caught on (“Cougar Girls Rock”), along with Facebook applications (“Which Sexy Celebrity Cougar Are You?”) and offline events like cougar cruises and cougar speed dating.

I thought it was cool to be a cougar. I certainly thought it was cooler than being a MILF, that infamous acronym popularized in the 1999 movie American Pie. MILF: the attractive 30- or 40-something woman, with a tight body and even tighter clothing. MILF: Mother I’d Like to Fuck.

I found MILF crass. It sounded like what it was: another example of female objectification fulfilling a male fantasy. But for me, cougar was different. It seemed empowering, positive. At first, cougar called attention to a woman’s embrace of her sexual self, to her desires and fantasies. It didn’t stem from any male fantasy, or so I thought at the time. The cougar was strong and predatory, whereas the MILF was meek. So I celebrated the cougardom and its most famous royal, Demi Moore, who at that time had just started dating Ashton Kutcher.

But then I learned that in 2004, Billy Joel - the music legend I listened to growing up, the same Piano Man my parents listened to when they were young - married a 23-year-old named Katie Lee when he was 55 years old. That’s a 32-year difference. Billy was a classic cougar, except for one thing: he wasn’t a woman. So what was I to call him? What was the media calling him? It turns out, something light or sweet: “involved in a May-December romance”, attracted to “arm candy”, Katie’s “Sugar Daddy”.

There was simply no male counterpart for cougar – then or now – just as there are no male counterparts for “bitch” or “slut”. (No, “male slut” does not count.) What’s more: The cougar is just one beast in a growing jungle of misogynist slang. There are Kittens (20-somethings), CITs (Cougars in Training), and Jaguars (50-something women seeking younger men). Cougar Hunters, too. (For a truly ridiculous sampling of this, see Kevin Alexander’s article in Boston Magazine.)

I used to think that by calling a woman a cougar, I was being progressive. I thought I was using a friendly moniker to denote the woman who was powerful, successful, and knew what she wanted: a younger man. No more. Just see NBC’s “Age of Love,” a dating show that pitted 20-something kittens against 40-something cougars in pursuit of one hot Australian man. (The winner, no surprise, was 25.) Or watch the straight-to-DVD Cougar Club in which Faye Dunaway (why Faye?!) plays the over sexualized wife of a college grad’s boss.

My guy friends laugh whenever I ask them about cougars. They’re very excited I’m spending my time researching and writing about them. They think it’s hot – in the same way they think lesbians are hot. That’s because cougars are part of a male fantasy, not a female one. The young guy who can score a woman in her 40s, with a career, with ambition, who knows what she wants? Clearly, that young guy is the ultimate stud.

By embracing denigrating nicknames like cougar, we’re complicit in a contemporary form of our own objectification. In the end, a cougar isn’t empowered. She’s only as hot as the guy who goes for her.

This is the first in a two part series on the Cougar Phenomenon by Manhattan based contributor Marissa Miley.

In our never ending quest to help moms negotiate the challenging 10 weeks known as summer vacation, Misstropolis profiles some interesting options for the most discriminating campers. Don’t despair if you didn’t make it off the camp waiting list or don’t yet have your plans finalized.  Here are four great and unique options to round out any child’s summer:

For the Outdoor Explorer

Worcester’s Ecotarium, which calls itself a center for Environmental Exploration, is one of the hidden gems of central Mass. Part zoo and part science museum, the campus also includes a digital planetarium, nature trails, a treetop trek and a train ride. The Ecotarium’s Loring Summer camp offers three options for campers ages seven to 14: Amazing Animals, Cosmic Camp and Prehistoric Planet, as well as a leadership program for older campers.  Activities take place both at the Ecotarium and at a 320 acre site in Rutland, with each camp offering unique experiences and facilities. 

Animal Adventure campers will work with trainers caring for rescued birds, reptiles, and mammals, as well as New England’s only polar bear. Cosmic Campers will explore the digital planetarium and have a sleepover at the museum. Budding archaeologists at the Prehistoric Camp will get to experience arboreal life in the treetop canopy walkway. We at Misstropolis are Eco Tarium aficionados - their website lists a great line-up of summer events, and we may not be able to resist singing their praises again when their Zula Patrol has opened.

For the Rock Star

For children who have mastered an instrument or harbor dreams of being the next American Idol, Dayjams operates week-long rock camps nationwide for kids ages eight to 15. Dayjams is an offshoot of National Guitar Workshop, a much admired music camp for adults.

At Dayjams, kids choose voice, guitar, bass, keyboard, drums or horns and are grouped according to experience into bands.  Musicians lead them through the process of composing original music, promoting their band, performing and recording it and showcasing their talents in a final concert. Mindwalk Boulevard, a VH1 finalist in the “Your Move with Yes” contest, formed in a Boston Dayjams camp. Boston area locations of Dayjams are in Newton and Medford – currently Medford has more availability for summer 2008.

For the River God(ess)

To explore the natural beauty in our own backyard, Charles River Kayak and Canoe has a nice assortment of week-long camps for grades four through 12.

For grades four through six, half-day and full-day kayak and canoe camps will be offered at Lake Cohichuate in Natick. Older kids might be intrigued by the sea kayaking camps. If a child is not proficient in the skills for the advanced sea kayaking camp, a few private sessions might prepare him or her for this group and its trips along the Massachusetts coastline. Swimming in open water - always wearing their flotation devices, of course - is always a favorite of the campers.

For the Artisan

Finally, if none of these camps strike the right chord with your teen we saved perhaps the most unique opportunity for last. Boston’s Diablo Glass School introduces teens to the art of glass blowing in several week-long camps over the summer. 

Founded in 2001, Diablo offers courses to artists in conjunction with Mass Art as well as classes for hobbyists in a variety of glass techniques. Summer camps are for teens, ages 12 and up. Participants learn techniques such as fusing and slumping to create stained glass and many different objects, including paperweights, drinking glasses and beads.

To the Editor:

Sue Shellenbarger’s “Work & Family” column Stay at Home Moms are Filling an Executive Niche, from April 30, touts a trend: professional women who’ve opted out of the workforce to focus on raising children have become a resource at the ready for businesses seeking short-term support. In making her point, however, Ms. Shellenbarger seems to suggest that the best part is getting top talent for a bargain. She cites an example of stay-at-home moms recruited to teach a graduate course at the University of North Carolina – a neuroscientist, M.B.A. and attorney among them – who each received $21/hour for their efforts.

But since when does the “C” in C-level experience stand for “cheap?” The women that Ms. Shellenbarger speaks of were leaders in their field for a reason, and should be valued as such. As the global market grows and the U.S. talent pool shrinks, we need to get creative to keep our best and brightest professionals contributing to the workforce. But hiring smart, accomplished businesswomen at a reduced rate isn’t the right answer, at least not for the long term.

Women currently earn more than half of all graduate degrees in the U.S. and yet too many continue to leave the workforce during peak professional years due to the either/or dilemma of kids versus career. According to a Harvard Business School briefing, over 90 percent of women who “opted out” want to get back in. But why should we ask them to put their professional self on sale?

Let’s look to these women as one solution to the shortage of top-tier talent, not just “temp help.” It’s time for a new work paradigm: career opportunities with flexibility that are as valued and respected as the traditional work model. The time is right to focus on the quantifiable and creative benefits of breaking old workplace molds and think differently about work arrangements for women – and men, too – who have high aspirations for both their work and family lives. It’s about returning value to the bottom line – and to the professionals who know how to get results. If we set the bar at $21/hour for women who’ve worked at the executive level, where is the incentive to create this more modern way of working and thinking?

-Lisa Paolozzi, President Optin. http://www.womenoptin.com - going live Friday.

With an understanding of the quantifiable and creative benefits of breaking old workplace molds, OptIn is a professional organization that brings together top-tier professionals with companies willing to think differently about how to structure work arrangements. The result: a new way of working that helps smart women keep careers going strong – and helps smart companies keep those women, and grow stronger.

Below is a reprint of Sue Shellenbarger’s How Stay-at-Home Moms Are Filling an Executive Niche from the April 30th edition of the Wall Street Journal:

Lots of employers would like to be able to hire cheap, temporary teams of seasoned pros with experience managing $2 billion investment portfolios, running ad campaigns or earning Ph.D.s in neuroscience. But few know the secret to finding temps of that caliber: Look on playgrounds and at PTA meetings.

The decision among some highly educated women to stay home with children is sparking a countertrend: The rise of the mommy “SWAT team.” The acronym, for “smart women with available time,” is one mother’s label for all-mom teams assembled quickly through networking and staffing firms to handle crash projects. Employers get lots of voltage, cheap, while the women get a skills update and a taste of the professional challenges they miss.

CATERING TO MOMS: Here are a few flexible-staffing firms that find work for at-home mothers:
• FlexibleExecutives.com
• FlexibleResources.com
• FlexperienceConsulting.com
• MomCorps.com
• On-Ramps.com

The University of North Carolina’s Kenan-Flagler Business School was able to muster an “incredibly talented” team with eight at-home mothers—including a Stanford University Ph.D. in neuroscience, a University of Virginia M.B.A., an attorney and a former news executive—by tapping female staffers’ neighborhood networks, says Mindy Storrie, Kenan-Flagler’s director of leadership.

The team taught leadership skills to 100 M.B.A. candidates last year by role-playing difficult management situations with them and critiquing their performances. The simulation training was so successful that enrollment doubled this spring and Kenan-Flagler made it mandatory for leadership training. Cost to the B-school: $21 an hour per woman.

In another case, a team of five at-home moms hopped on a one-month project at Lending Tree to rewrite 600 job descriptions after several acquisitions and integrate them into its organization chart. “I was very impressed with the caliber of women” delivered by MomCorps, an Atlanta staffing firm, says Kathy Fritzsche, vice president, rewards, for the online lending exchange.

Ivanna Garibaldi Campbell, Charlotte, N.C., a former Bank of America senior manager who led the Lending Tree team, headed project meetings with her baby in tow. Once she became a stay-at-home mom, she says, it was “tough to go from 500 mph to stepping back. ... I found myself a little stir-crazy.”

Skilled workers taking temp projects isn’t new, of course. What’s different about these teams is that they’re available on short notice because the women are usually at home; they tend to work cheap because their main motive is to keep their skills fresh; and they’re often extraordinarily well-qualified, having left the work force voluntarily when their careers were on the ascent.

Michelle Fenton used to manage $2 billion in assets for Invesco AIM. But because the Denver executive quit her job a year ago to care for her two children, she was available to work for far less than one-tenth of her former salary to help tiny TangentWorks, a Web project-integration start-up, write a business plan. Her marketing partner on the project, which was staffed by Flexible Executives of Atlanta: Liz Ward, who used to direct the Levi Strauss, Dockers and Pillsbury brands for the ad agency Foote, Cone & Belding, then ran her own successful ad consultancy for several years.

For TangentWorks, deploying those two “was like having a C-level team” - chief financial and marketing officers - “without the salaries,” says Zaina Ajakie, CEO of the three-employee firm.

Such successes partly reflect the growing power of women’s networks. Ms. Fenton is a former client of Flexible Executives co-founder Jamie Pennington, a mother of three and former stockbroker and investment banker. Ashley Hewitt, Charlotte, a member of the Lending Tree team and a former human-resources director for Duke Energy, connected with a MomCorps executive at a children’s birthday party. And Donnabeth Leffler, a former news executive, connected with Kenan-Flagler staffers through friends at church; it was Ms. Leffler who coined the “SWAT team” label.

“Using the brain cells, making the contacts, feeling productive and useful ... and being in a room with people a lot like me,” she says, make such projects worth the effort.

Searching for new artists on websites like pandora.com is like going on a musical treasure hunt, the longer it takes, the more fun you can have. But if you’re pressed for time- and really, who isn’t - here are some musicians and songs to check out right now.

Ever find yourself listening to the music more than the dialogue on “Scrubs” or “Grey’s Anatomy”? Yeah, me too. I am by no means a music expert, but I spend most of my days writing, so music motivates and inspires me - and keeps me company.

Searching for new artists on websites like pandora.com is like going on a musical treasure hunt, the longer it takes, the more fun you can have. But if you’re pressed for time- and really, who isn’t - here are some musicians and songs to check out right now.

José González, Veneer
Jose Gonzalez’s debut “Veneer” (2005) is a go-to album when I work. It’s tranquil and elegant, with all the appropriate indie flourishes. “Heartbeats” and “Deadweight on Velveteen” are two highlights.  Some songs may sound the same, but still, Gonzalez’s music is lovely. He was at the Paradise on September 30 – hopefully he’ll be back soon.

Leela James, A Change Is Gonna Come
Part soul, part funk, part R&B, all voice, Leela James’ debut album is worth it.  Though the lead song, “Music,” has been debated among reviewers (it argues that music is dying), there are gems on this album.  “Didn’t I,” “It’s Alright,” and “Mistreating Me” are favorites.

Atonement Soundtrack
There’s a reason the Atonement score won an Oscar and a Golden Globe. Dario Marianelli, who you might know from the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack (another favorite), brought this story to life through music. The score is intense, dramatic, and exciting, charged with strings, piano, vocals, and (quite appropriately) the sounds of a typewriter. Even if you haven’t seen the film, you’ll appreciate “Two Figures By A Fountain,” “With My Own Eyes,” and “Elegy for Dunkirk.” And if you like them, go watch the movie.

Snow Patrol, Eyes Open
I, too, wanted to throw myself out the car if I heard “Chasing Cars” one more time on the radio after it appeared on the second season finale of Grey’s Anatomy in 2006.  But the rest of the songs on Snow Patrol’s Eyes Open are fantastic.  Be sure to listen to the album straight through.  Musicians are not so different than novelists; they arrange songs in a specific order to tell a story, much like writers do with their chapters.  And that’s exactly what Eyes Open is: a story, both powerful and personal.

“A&E” by Goldfrapp, Seventh Tree
This song is soft and light, filled with whispers, and undeniably intriguing - plus, it gets better every time you listen to it. With her latest album, Seventh Tree, Allison Goldfrapp steps away from the electro glam rock of her previous work. “A&E” is right for any mood (I play it at the gym and while reading); if you like it, try “Happiness” and “Clowns.”

“We Are Nowhere and It’s Now” by Bright Eyes, I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning
Singer Connor Oberst started recording music when he was only fourteen years old. His recent album, Cassadaga (2007) is quite good, but “We Are Nowhere Now” is an entrance point into Oberst’s land of poetry. Crisp, clear, accessible, and meaningful, too. 

Sia, Some People Have Real Problems
You may remember Sia’s soft, raspy song “Breathe Me” from the series finale of Six Feet Under (if you don’t, download it immediately). The Australian folk singer’s third album, Some People Have Real Problems, is both powerful and calm, with winding stories and a little punch.  Songs bleed into one another; you can hear and feel the emotions in each.  “Little Black Sandals” is soulful, “Day Too Soon” is a love song, and “Death By Chocolate” picks up the pace.  Listen to the album straight through; you may think you know what’s coming next, but Sia will always surprise you.

“Samson” by Regina Spector, Begin to Hope
You’ll probably recognize her bubbly, catching song “Fidelity,” but make sure you listen to “Samson,” which retells the biblical story from Delilah’s perspective.  I love the very first phrase, “You are my sweetest downfall.” The song continues:

I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was blond when we first met

Worth downloading, and so it the rest of the album.

David Rees-Williams, Thinking Allowed
Having a dinner party?  Put on the David Rees-Williams Trio.  It’s a wonderful hour of classical music-meets-jazz, where Debussy, Bach, Grieg, and others are re-imagined in delightful ways.  For a test run, try “Passepied - Debussy” (track 2) and “Arietta - Grieg” (track 7).
“So Here We Are” by Bloc Party, Silent Alarm The bass, cymbals, and lyrics blend together and build in this intriguing song, arguably one of the best on the album.  If you like it, try “This Modern Love” next.

“Mr. Brightside (Jacques Lu Cont’s Thin White Duke Mix)”
I’m not usually into remixes, but this rendition of the Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” takes it to another level. Stuart Price (also known as Jacques Lu Cont, among other names) is a British electric musician and DJ who’s worked with Madonna. Here, he pumps the bass and makes you want to dance. The long, winding intro offers hints of the song we’ve all heard on the radio, but it’s not until at least a minute later that you’re sure this is in fact “Mr. Brightside.” Play this remix at the gym—loudly.

Enjoy the music. And don’t be afraid to share - send us your summer music picks too. What good’s a favorite song if you can’t share it with your friends?

Summer slacking is so much more memorable when it comes after an intellectual challenge or two. Misstropolites are always on the lookout for new things to learn, so we compiled a (by no means comprehensive) list of adult summer classes. (Kids’ ideas coming soon). If you have others, tell us about them. Cause we all know Vitamin D stands for educateD, enlighteneD, Damn smart and prouD…

The non-profit Cambridge Center for Adult Education offers classes on everything from History to Holistic Beauty and from Business to Buying &Selling on eBay. Register for one-day or extended courses. More traditional classes, like art, computers, theater, music and writing are also available and the tuition for all of programs is lower than most. In fact, CCAE gives out almost $100,000.00 dollars in scholarship money every year. http://www.ccae.org.

If you’re down with the D.I.Y. movement (or want to be), The Button Box, in Wellesley, MA can equip you with the skills of a new age domestic goddess. Newbies - try the FUN-damentals of Sewing or a techniques workshop. Pros – check out classes in embroidery, appliqué or quilting. The Button Box offers classes for teens as well. http://www.buttonboxquiltshop.com.

Spiderwebs in your mental attick after a year of multiplication tables and state capitals? A Harvard education can be yours. Harvard Summer School offers open admission for its rigorous summer courses, most taught by Harvard professors. Approaching its 100th anniversary (!) the Harvard Summer School offers two hundred courses, with some online, during two sessions, and a schedule that works if you work - evening courses are available. The second session begins July 21. http://www.summer.harvard.edu.

Speaking of big schools, Tufts University, world-renowned for its medical and law programs, goes wild for Art over the summer, offering studio art, art history, and the Museum School program, a collaboration with the Museum of Fine Arts. The courses include drawing, painting, design, calligraphy, photography, sculpture and watercolor, as well as ceramics, sculpture, animation, video, metals and printmaking. http://ase.tufts.edu/summer/.

Off campus, Maggie’s Farm in Athol gives city slickers a chance to better understand farm life. The Farm School summer curriculum includes not only daily farm work, but group instruction, demonstrations, workshops and lectures on the art of organic farming, practical skills like farm carpentry, timber framing and metal welding, and tree and flora identification. Learn about animal husbandry, or the care and raising of farm animals. If you are willing to walk the walk, this will be an experience to remember. http://www.farmschool.org or call Jennifer at 978-249-2656.

Summertime and fishing go practically reel-in-hand, so why not make like Brad Pitt and let a river run through it? Orvis, purveyors of all things fishing, offers saltwater fly fishing classes on the shores of Cape Cod. Learn fly casting techniques, gear, tackle and proper fly selection, even how to read water. $470 two day tuition includes instruction, a fishing license, lunches at the Chatham Bars Inn, use of an Orvis rod, reel, line and leader, and fishing access on the ocean and bays before and after class. http://www.orvis.com

Speaking of Old Cape Cod, Mass Audubon’s Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary offers two and four day field school classes to help you get better acquainted with Mother Nature. Try Coastal Ecology by Kayak, Shorebirds of Cape Cod, Salt Marsh & Shoreline Botany, or the Art of Nature Sketching. http://www.massaudubon.org.

Feel like seeing the world way beyond the cape? UMass Boston is holding Summer Field School in Belize. Explore prehistoric Maya archaeology in a tropical rainforest within the Program for Belize Conservation Area. The excursion includes surveying, mapping and site excavation at several Maya localities. June 14 – July 7, 2008. Tuition is $2,750 for undergraduates, $3,350 for graduates, which covers instruction, housing and meals. http://ccde.umb.edu/fieldstudy/.

As with all things in life, getting there will be up to you.

Imagine you’re seven years old. You come home from school one day and Mommy is wrapped in bandages. Then, when they come off, she doesn’t look like herself. She has a new nose. Bigger breasts. And a waist you didn’t even know existed. What’s going on?

Just a “mommy makeover.” Tummy tucks, nose jobs, breast augmentation - it’s all part of a package of quick-fix solutions for women who, for a variety of reasons, are unsatisfied with their bodies. But what do moms tell their children about their sudden transformations? Dr. Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon in Bal Harbour, Florida has an answer in the form of a new children’s book due out this Mother’s Day.

MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMY geared towards children aged 4 to 7, follows one mother’s decision to get a nose job and a tummy tuck and the way she explains it to her daughter.

The publisher says the book “guides children through Mommy’s surgery and healing process in a friendly, non-threatening way” and the book’s website claims it’s “a must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery.” Bad grammar aside (is it the mother or the young children considering plastic surgery?) MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMY has already been featured in Newsweek and The Huffington Post, discussed on ABC News and the Today show and spoofed on YouTube - and it hasn’t even come out yet.

Sneak-peaks inside the picture book reveal that “Dr. Michael” (named after Dr. Salzhauer himself) boasts bulging muscles and looks more like a cartoon superhero than an actual doctor. In one scene, the little girl listens to him explain what he’s going to do to her mother: “Blah, Blah, Blah, Tummy, Blah, Blah, Blah, Nose.” The picture is small, but you can just make out what’s meant to be an unflattering bump on Mommy’s nose. At another point in the book, Mommy says to her daughter, “You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better.” She explains that she won’t only look “different, my dear—prettier!”

Last year, women had 10.7 million cosmetic procedures, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Breast augmentation and liposuction were the top two surgical procedures among women (347,500 and 269,000 respectively), followed by nose reshaping at 211,000. Not all procedures are equal. Many women get breast reductions and gastric bypass surgery for medical reasons, while others seek out the “mommy makeover” for upkeep or perfection. Regardless of the motivation, plastic surgery is here to stay, which is why a book like MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMY is making headlines, even if its content isn’t entirely realistic. (Salzhauer admits he avoids the issue of the mother’s larger breasts; critics argue that the story and illustrations simplify surgery and its affects on a child.)

One mother I know says that if she’d had plastic surgery when her kids were 5 years old, she probably wouldn’t have told them, at least not in detail. “At that age, the important point is that mommy will return and be in bed for a while, not feeling so well but getting better - not so much mommy coming home and looking different.” She points out that she lost fifteen pounds when her kids were that young, and they didn’t notice a thing.

I’m not a mother and I haven’t had plastic surgery. But I have spent a lot of time speaking with women who do have children, and I think it’s important for moms who are having surgery to explain to their kids what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

Take the story of Alicia Douvall and her daughter. Douvall, a former model in the U.K., has had over 50 cosmetic surgery procedures; she hardly looks human any more. Now her daughter, Georgia, wants a boob job for her 13th birthday. Douvall claimed to be “surprised” but told a reporter, “My mum always taught me to take care of my appearance and that’s all I’ve taught Georgia. Surgery’s just the modern-day next level.”

The book is targeted at young kids, but what about older children? Surely a mother’s plastic surgery affects her kids regardless of their age. Teenage girls are surrounded by pressures to be thin and beautiful - watching their mothers go under the knife to perfect their physical appearance can’t help. Talking with teenagers about the reasons people elect to have plastic surgery can ultimately impact their confidence and self-respect.

Has plastic surgery really become the answer to taking care of oneself? Hopefully not, but MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMY reminds us that conversations about such surgeries are important, however we feel about it. Still, the most important message will always be that MOMMY is BEAUTIFUL no matter what.

I’ve heard this before. Ever since September 2006, when Facebook opened membership to anyone with a valid email address, dozens of teens have told me how uncomfortable they are with Mom or Dad joining - never mind aunts, uncles, or God forbid grandparents. Nosy relatives, they fear, will violate their space.

“My mom asked me to make her [a Facebook page] the other day!” a high school senior told me recently. “I obviously said no cause that would be so weird! Parents can’t have Facebook!”

I’ve heard this before. Ever since September 2006, when Facebook opened membership to anyone with a valid email address, dozens of teens have told me how uncomfortable they are with Mom or Dad joining - never mind aunts, uncles, or God forbid grandparents. Nosy relatives, they fear, will violate their space.

This modern culture clash has been addressed by the New York Times, the Huffington Post and others, usually from the adult point of view.

At the same time, many adults have told me they’re baffled by the Friend Requests in their inboxes. Why waste the time? What are the benefits? And who wants to learn that Gen. Y technology?! A pointless (and juvenile) time-suck, they’ve grumbled. (Perhaps they’ve heard of applications like Boozemail where you send virtual cocktails to friends, or Hatchmail where you send virtual surprise gifts that “hatch” over time…don’t ask).

My mother is one of these skeptics. “Isn’t Googling them easier?” she asks. Plus, she wonders, who she would “friend” anyway: Me? My sister?

At 27, close enough to relate to both age groups, I can see both sides. I joined Facebook in 2004, the year it launched. Back then, Facebook’s appeal was its youth, edge, and exclusivity.

But that was then, the beginning of the revolution, the heyday of the Early Adopter. Today, Facebook has more than 70 million active users around the world. Over half of them are out of college, and the over 25 year olds comprise its largest growing demographic. Today, Facebook’s appeal is its size, ease and that “everyone’s” on it.

The most striking thing I have found in researching social media trends is that these two groups use online social networks in very different but revealing ways. Teens tend to use it more for self-expression and keeping tabs on friends, whereas adults use it to reach out to friends and acquaintances for social and career reasons. Of course, people in such different stages of life socialize in very different ways. But the critical thing for both kids and parents to understand is that people’s behavior online is reflective of their experience online - users 30 are more apt to use the web to “get something.” Teens and twenty somethings are used to hanging out online, opening up and sharing personal information.

I believe those behaviors are different enough that both should be able to play in the Facebook playground without stepping on each other’s toes.

I moved to Manhattan last year, and I still meet new people every day – in the elevator, waiting for the subway, at parties. Remarkably often, one of the first questions is Are you on Facebook? Yes? OK, I’ll friend you tomorrow. I have connected with dozens of friends, writers, and professional contacts this way. My coauthor and I even publicized our book on Facebook.

Of course social networking isn’t for everyone. My sister-in-law joined Facebook at the insistence of a friend, but she’s been unimpressed so far. She’s busy with three young kids and doesn’t have the time (or interest) in logging on all the time. It may not be for you, either. But there’s room if you want in.

New parents for example, are finding practical ways to use the site. They reach out to former coworkers, staying in touch even if they’re staying-at-home. They share photos with friends they haven’t seen since grade school, and trade recipes with strangers (or new “friends” who also have babies. There is even a custom application on Facebook called “I am Mom” Their pitch: “Moms everywhere, Unite!” Parent-friendly applications like Baby & Pregnancy Countdown Ticker (a virtual T-10 to delivery) and Babybook (an online scrapbook you can share) would equally horrify my teenage friends.

Here are a few reasons why Facebook might be worth your time, if you’re not already on it:

1. Creating a profile page is actually a challenging and enjoyable exercise. It makes one think about one’s significance in life.

2. Receiving a note from someone far in your past feels amazing.

3. It only takes as much time as you want to give it.

4. You never know who might look you up. Do you really want to miss him? Or her?

Greece isn’t all about hedonistic partying on Mykonos. For a quieter Hellenic escape, head to Afitos on the Chalkidiki Peninsula in northern Greece, a beautiful, sun-kissed island without any pretenses.

Top four reasons to visit:

1. The architecture: Spared from being tastelessly overbuilt with concrete, anonymous buildings like other parts of the peninsula, Afitos is full of beautifully preserved, old stone houses.

2. The atmosphere: The cobblestone streets are full of tasteful shops, bars and tavernas. If you really want to get the full picture, head to the plateia (main square) and people watch. A quick visit to the small church rewards the curious with divine quietness in which to admire centuries-old icons. And a well-deserved break with ouzo and mezedes (the Greek equivalent of tapas) at one of the picturesque tavernas overlooking the bay helps even the most restless to slow down and sample life the Greek way.

3. The sea: The best way to savor the moment is to order an ice-cold, creamy Frappe (the inescapable whipped coffee, considered a heart-starter here), while braving the heat on the beach, or have a mojito by candlelight at Pounta Beach Bar. Pounta Bar is also an ideal base for an early swim – just make sure it coincides with the returning fishermen selling their daily catch on the beach. It’s a feast for the senses.

4. The art of good eating: For a simple, tasty lunch head for Fedon’s taverna on the beach, where fish is unfailingly fresh. For a late dinner indulge in the tastes and smells of the sea at Curo Siwo (the grilled octopus and fried squid are a must). And if you still crave a more sophisticated Mediterranean setting, pay a visit to Sousourada. Rumor has it that a famous Greek chef opted for the simplicity of Chalkidiki and set up his business in the village.

While in town sleep at Hotel Afitis. There’s direct access to the beach and a pool.
Area-Daily is an upscale modern travel company based in Los Angeles. To find out about other out of the way travel ideas, visit area-daily.com.

The pressure they are under can be overwhelming. Suicide, alcoholism and other self-destructive behavior is on the rise in their demographic. They are not victims of corporate burn out or battered veterans returning from Iraq. They are our children.

“It’s a pressure cooker in there,” observes a mom of a teenage daughter about her local high school.

Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, an expert in adolescent psychology, sees growing numbers of children seeking help with depression, anxiety, binge drinking, substance abuse, eating disorders, unhealthy sex and cutting in her Chestnut Hill, MA practice. She says many of her patients are children of highly successfully parents who are fearful of letting their parents down and turn to risky behavior to relieve their anxiety.

Steiner-Adair, an instructor in the Psychiatry Department at the Harvard Medical School and Director of Eating Disorders Education and Prevention at McLean Hospital, adds that the behavior is happening at ever younger ages, to the point that she is seeing more lying, cheating, and smoking among middle schoolers.

“The pressure to excel, combined with a fear of disappointing parents, leads otherwise honest kids to cheat in school,” she says. Steiner-Adair says that lying, text-messaging test answers, selling intellectual property, and cheating with handheld computers is at an all-time high among high schoolers.

Steiner-Adair, who wrote the book Full of Ourselves: Advancing Girl Power, Health, and Leadership, says that girls are at particularly high risk as they face the added pressure to achieve the nearly unattainable standards of beauty set by Hollywood and the fashion industry. In fact, recent studies have found that girls are now outnumbering boys in alcohol use.

A growing number of the area’s top local high schools have recognized the problem and are trying a variety of solutions. Programs include such spa and summer camp like offerings as yoga, Pilates, and ultimate Frisbee. In addition to such stress busting activities, several districts have begun to reexamine the amount of home work they assign each night and to limit the number of tests students are given on a single day. 

For parents, increased isolation from one another makes the job of parenting more difficult than it was for our parents’ generation. “The challenge of being a parent has changed; we’ve lost the mom to mom connection that is so important.”

Steiner-Adair believes technology has exacerbated the problem. “Things like cell phones have in some ways made us much more connected to our kids,” she says. “But technology has actually… weakened the connection.” The key, says Steiner-Adair, is to start the conversation early on, years before your children enter the maelstrom of adolescence. “How you react to them in elementary school will determine whether they turn to you when faced with tough decisions later on.”

Restrain from offering unsolicited advice, she says, and instead ask what your kids think about a situation that is troubling them. In fact, asking for your kids’ advice in some of your own daily struggles can help them figure out their own strategies for dealing with conflict.

Anything to take the pressure off.

Hear more of Dr. Steiner-Adair’s strategies on how to be a “Go-To Mom” at her upcoming lecture:
Wednesday, April 9th
7 p.m.
the Dover-Sherborn Middle School
55 Farm Street in Dover, MA

If you’re interested in a steady stream of awe-inspiring getaway ideas, you need to get to know Area-Daily. Misstropolis’ beloved travel partners are the masters of 007-esque trip suggestions. Today, Art and Culture in Umbria, Italy.

Sure, feasting on pasta and wine in Roma sounds delightful and ogling the artistic genius of the masters in Firenze is entirely awe-inspiring. Well, now we’ve found the perfect way to combine the cuisine and culture of Italy. The Spoleto Arts Symposia is a series of workshops taught by world-renowned experts in culture-rich Spoleto, a medieval hilltown in Italy’s heartland, Umbria.

The Spoleto Cooking School features Eros Patrizi, acclaimed chef and principal instructor for Spoleto’s famous culinary institute, La Scuola Alberghiero di Spoleto. Learn from this master in the kitchen of his own restaurant, Tempio di Gusto, using fresh, local ingredients to prepare and enjoy a delicious daily pranzo (lunch) accompanied by local Umbrian wines and mineral waters.

The Vocal Arts Symposium features the beloved Enza Ferrari, who collaborated with Maria Callas and Giuseppe di Stefano in their formative years, and many other world-class singers and teachers from New York’s Metropolitan Opera. The Jazz Workshop is led by Harold Danko, head of the jazz division of the Eastman School of Music, and Renato Chicco, professor of jazz studies at the University of Graz, Austria.

There’s even a program for kids offering organized games, sports, Italian language, painting, ceramics, visits to the Perugina Chocolate Factory, and day trips around Spoleto including horseback riding, hiking, and more.

The Spoleto Arts Symposia is your ticket to a truly authentic adventure in Italian art and culture.

SPOLETO ARTS SYMPOSIA
http://WWW.SPOLETOARTS.COM

“We’re filled with skanks!” Perez Hilton wrote on his website last week, beneath a picture of fifteen-year old Miley Ray Cyrus, the teen queen herself with her smoky eyes, tousled hair, and glossy lips blowing a kiss at the camera. The topic of discussion? The fact that one in four teenage girls in the United States has a sexually transmitted disease (STD). A new CDC study released last week found that one in four girls between the ages of 14 and 19 have at least one of the most common STDs, human papillomavirus (HPV), Chlamydia, herpes simplex virus, or trichomoniasis. African-American girls had the highest rate of infection (48%) compared to white girls (20%). And one of those girls could be your daughter.

There were 838 participants in the CDC study, which ran from 2003 to 2004 — just one year before I began my own research into the social and sexual lives of teenagers at an elite New England prep school (I later co-authored a book following the lives of seven teens during their senior year). Many — not all, but many — of the girls and boys I interviewed approached sexual experiences casually. Some did not use condoms and few ever had STD tests. During casual hookups, many guys expected girls to perform oral sex on them, and many girls followed through; all rolled their eyes at the thought of using a condom. A small group of students engaged in threesomes and orgies, which rarely involved intercourse but often included oral sex and digital penetration. Even teens not sexually active admitted they wanted experience.

I’ve spoken with many parents who genuinely seek to understand the sexual pressures of high school, yet simultaneously insist that their own sons and daughters aren’t the ones misbehaving. Andrea is more interested in hanging out with her friends; James doesn’t have time for girls; Emma is NOT having sex with her boyfriend. Riiiiiiight.

The reality is that teens are sexually active — and yes, that probably includes your kids, too. My sample may have come from one senior class at one school, but sex is not unique to privileged teens. The pressure to keep up is universal. Why? Because sexual experiences are part of typical adolescent behavior. Because with the right partner, they can be exciting. And because many teens think they need to have them in their repertoire. Girls often look to guys for self-confidence and social status, and the desire for sexual validation can trump common sense. For some teens, losing their virginity — or at least performing oral sex — before going to college is more important than asking a partner whether or not he’s been tested.

The effects of STDs on women are grotesquely serious, and include cervical cancer, infertility and the potential to spread diseases to other partners. Schools across the country offer required sex ed classes, but come on, at this point, who doesn’t know about STDs and condoms? The problem isn’t about knowledge; it’s about urgency. It’s about understanding the fact that teenagers face enormous sexual pressures (which are sometimes self-imposed), and the desire to gain experience often overrides safety. Abstinence-only education is hardly the solution; Cecile Richards, President of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, rightly calls it “a $1.5 billion failure.”

But there are steps that parents and teens can take. The CDC recommends Chlamydia screenings each year for sexually active women under age 25, as well as the HPV vaccine for girls and women between the ages of 11 and 26. I think teenagers should have routine STD tests, because we’re talking about safety here…about life…so why not?

Parents, if you’re still convinced that your daughter (or son) isn’t sexually active, think again. Remember that statistic — one in four girls are infected with at least one STD. If this statistic doesn’t include your own daughter, it certainly includes her friends or peers. Just because a parent is involved and supportive doesn’t mean a child isn’t going to explore sex. Teenagers are supposed to try to break the rules while parents are meant to impose them — and equip their children with the knowledge and confidence they need to make smart, safe decisions.

Let’s go back to Perez Hilton. Calling girls “skanks” is presumptuous, but if teenage girls aren’t learning enough about STDs in school, perhaps it takes a celebrity blogger to raise awareness in a language they can understand. Miley Ray Cyrus may be squeaky clean, but the CDC statistics prove that at least some of her celebrity teen friends aren’t. The same could be said for your daughter. So talk to her. Now. Show her the CDC study. Show her pictures of what STDs can do to her body. Teach her about infertility and cervical cancer. Get her vaccinated. Do anything you can to help her realize that she has the power to protect herself.