Misstropolis

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Yes, Even YOU Can Be a Philanthropist!

by Rebecca Dorr

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Who ever said that philanthropy was for rich, old, white guys? Sure, enormous checks written by men like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are meaningful, but they give the impression that you have to be a corporate icon to make a difference in the world. And for nonprofit fundraisers seeking much-needed cash, the thought of one or two huge payloads make it hard to think outside the box.

But Kathy Lemay wants to turn that old paradigm on its head. She preaches a kind of fundraising for social change that can also embody social change - a more humanist approach that encourages people to connect over the issues they care about. And women are at the center of the action.

The vehicle for Lemay’s work is her three-year old consulting firm Raising Change based in Florence, Massachusetts, which works with nonprofits and philanthropists to build bridges between the two camps. Lemay remembers scratching her head when she first learned the “rules” of fundraising: Wear the right clothes. Remember the donors’ kid’s names (and ask about them). Then make the big pitch, keep quiet, and hope for the best.
“I hated it,” says Lemay, 38, who has worked in and around nonprofits for 15 years now. “It felt so odd, and not authentic at all.” Her interest in the nonprofit sector led her to organizations dedicated to issues such as AIDS, homelessness, and women’s human rights. These are crucial social issues, the kind that can inspire great emotion, and Lemay wondered why the conversation had to be so cold and scripted. “You’re not there to sell them dishwasher plugs or something. This is something we care about a lot. Why not have a conversation about that passion and see where it leads us?”

Lemay had that epiphany in her late 20s, when she was scheduled to meet a wealthy woman at the Four Seasons for breakfast. The potential donor arrived late and tried to unload her full-length fur coat on the young fundraiser; Lemay stuck up for herself. “I said, ‘I’m a huge animal rights activist, and it would bring me tears to take your coat. But if you’d like I can find someone to hang up both our coats.’” She had spontaneously strayed from the script. She didn’t just take the coat and keep her mouth shut. What would happen?

The potential donor stopped dead in her tracks and started crying; she admitted she was trying to impress Lemay, and uphold her husband’s ironclad (and presumably high-brow) reputation. Lemay joked that she was glad the tables hadn’t been turned - her coat was threadbare and being held together by duct tape. They both laughed.

And that was that. With the ice broken and no harm done, the two sat down to breakfast, and Lemay felt freed to have an open conversation with the woman. Instead of reciting a memorized pitch, Lemay talked about her passion for her organization’s work. “I said, I don’t know if our group is right for you, but let’s explore it.” It’s the same kind of approach she advises today.

Lemay promotes a similarly honest tack for philanthropists. She recites Teddy Roosevelt (“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”) when she urges every donor to search her conscience for the three social issues she cares about most - and then to set benchmarks for giving to each one. This keeps donors from feeling overwhelmed, but also pushes them to give to their full capacity. It’s part of a strategy personalized to each donor that she calls “generosity planning.”

Lemay’s enthusiastic belief that philanthropy is for everybody, not just the rich and the famous, is infectious. Philanthropy, she points out, is a state of mind, of wanting your contributions to society to be a part of your identity. “When folks say to me, ‘It’s not like small checks make a difference,’ I say, tell that to Greenpeace and the Humane Society,” says Lemay. “When a million people write $25 checks, that’s really significant. That’s social change.”

A longtime women’s rights activist, Lemay is hopeful about the role woman can play in affecting social change. From her own experience in the nonprofit sector, she’s observed that where men often favor a top-down approach to philanthropy, women want to get their hands dirty, building community from the ground up. They’ll ask questions: Have I made a difference? Has someone’s life been changed? Can I volunteer? And they’re eager to learn about the ripple effects of their work.

Women often write smaller checks to start, says Lemay, but once they’re sure they’ve hit it right, they “stretch” their giving. “I think that’s how you build something that lasts,” she says.