Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Big Sister, Enormous Opportunity
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Deborah Re has a dream. She would like to see every woman in the city dedicate at least one year to being a mentor for a young girl. She has seen the incredible difference just one day a week for one year can make in the lives of girls. And she has letters to prove it.
As President and CEO of the Big Sister Association of Boston, Re receives letter from Big and Little Sisters in all stages of their lives. She recently received one from a 14 year old who had initially had difficulty accepting the support of the program and letting go of her intense anger. But after time in the program she developed a sense of personal responsibility and love for the group, which moved her to write a letter she never would have written before joining. “I am so sorry I missed the ice cream party yesterday,” it read, “… my trust and love have grown stronger for you...” Deb says letter like these reflect the profound benefits of what they are doing, and the need for more eligible volunteers to get involved.
Big Sister of Boston is one of only two programs in the states focused exclusively on the needs of girls. It was this focus that attracted Re to the position in 2006. “Their needs are changing, and their needs are increasing,” she says. Modern technology has led to modern problems such as cyber-bullying, privacy violations, attention deficit and deteriorating self-esteem. Re says one of Big Sister’s priorities is keeping a lively feedback loop going with their Big and Little Sisters to assure that all new issues can be addressed in the program’s various curriculums. The goal of Big Sister she says, is to helps the Littles make healthy choices - and the nature of those choices depends on their age, home situation, health and school status.
In order to meet this range of needs, Big Sister has a range of programs. The One on One Mentoring is most likely what one thinks of when hearing Big Brother or Big Sister. In community programs, girls ages 7-15 are paired with a Big Sister and enjoy once a week visits to their home as well as trips to museums, sporting events, or other activities. School programs for the same age group arrange for Little Sisters to meet their Bigs at lunch or after school.
Group Mentoring is geared toward older girls ages 11-17 facing very different challenges. The middle and high school age girls are listening more to their peers than to adults, Re says, and therefore are vulnerable to negative pressure to make unhealthy decisions. In the group programs, girls can form relationships with adults in which they are supported and encouraged. The curriculum allows them to bring up the issues that are most pressing in their lives, and work through them together over time. In one of the letters Re told me about, a woman reflected back on her experience with her Big Sister. She said the constancy of the support was the most important thing to her. She noted that her Big Sister was the only constant in her life at that time, and that without it she would have fallen prey to the negative pressures inherent in her life growing up in a dangerous housing project.
“Girl Power” is a system of training and education geared both toward the Big Sisters themselves, and more and more toward the Bigs and Littles together. The subjects discussed are always changing - they work with the Big Sisters to identify areas of concern. It is yet another effort by the organization to facilitate dialog and identify areas of concern.
The goals of the program Re says, are to help the girls develop confidence, conflict management strategies, communication skills and a healthy self image so that they can meet such challenges on their own as well. Their research, and even more importantly, those wonderful letters, show that the important efforts made when the girls are young contribute to a healthier, more productive and meaningful life for the length of the girls futures.
Big Sister wants to spread the word about the importance of mentoring. Re says they are always building, always growing and looking for more volunteers, more help. There are at least 200 - 250 girls on the waiting list at any given time. Big Sister provides many different ways for people to get involved. Take some time to look at their web site and take the online orientation, and consider making a difference in a girl’s life. If we all take a small step, we can bring Deborah Re one step closer to her altruistic dream - that every woman in the city spend a year mentoring a child.
Big for a Day is a program set up for children on the waiting list. “We want to make sure they know they are not forgotten.” Re says. It is also a good way for people who are not sure about whether they might want to become a Big Sister experience the program. Once a month, volunteers not matched with a Little Sister, take girls off the wait list for a special adventure. Check out the website here for more information. The programs offered by Big Sister Association are free to girls. But it takes an average of $1,000 to make and support a match between a Big and Little Sister. The organization sometimes holds “Matchmaker Challenges” at their events, where they encourage people to bid in increments of $1,000 to take girls off the waiting list.
Big Sister also holds occasional fund and awareness raising events. On Sunday, April 13, they will hold their annual Celebrity Chefs Event at Radius with chef Michael Schlow and others. This is a small, intimate benefit and a great way to learn more about the organization first hand. At every Big Sister event participants in the program share their experiences. Last year, Little Sister Charlotee spoke about her Big Sister’s help in getting her into Johnson and Wales for cooking school.
Let’s help Big Sister Association make this dream a reality. Click here for more information. What better way to open your big heart this Valentines Day, than by spreading love to a girl who will always and forever love you back.
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