Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Leggo My Ego: the Spirit of Yoga
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Years ago, one of my first teachers stood next to my mat and disciplined me for doing something different than the rest of the class. I was nursing an injured back; I wonder now what he was battling.
“Why do you even bother coming?” He asked loud enough for the whole class to hear. “Why don’t you just practice at home?”
I stayed on my mat. Leaving would mean that I had taken on the humiliation that he was unconsciously trying to project onto me. Leaving would mean that I would lose the solace I had learned to find on my mat during a difficult time in my life - the separation from my husband after 18 years.
So I stayed on my mat and tried to ignore him. At the time I didn’t have the words for it, but I knew he wasn’t lashing out at me.
Now many years later, I watch my students flow, one breath at a time. Some follow what I teach exactly, some modify a little, some modify a lot. Some create their own practice because of injury, age or whatever. They are practicing ahimsa - nonviolence - on the mat in their body and their mind and their spirit.
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Today a student in my class, who also happens to teach at our studio, modified quite a bit during her practice. She was up in front, yet she did not distract me or the other students. She was taking care of her body, that was clear. She was not modifying to disrespect or irritate me or the other students. I found myself smiling because I knew that she was listening to her body; practicing yoga.
When I see students who are blindly following my lead, and I can sense that their body resists their practice, I know that they are green—new to their mat. When I see students who respectfully and gracefully modify, I know that they are experienced practitioners.
I practice in the back row in my studios, sometimes asking other students to scoot over so I can squeeze in… to discourage students from watching me. After all, if students watch me practice, they are not practicing yoga. If they watch me and wonder why I am doing a pose differently, they are not practicing yoga. As yoga teachers, we repeatedly say in class that it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing on their mat. We repeatedly say “they have a story you know nothing about.”
The same goes for me. I am living my yoga, not teaching it. Any judgment from others, like that teacher so many years ago, has nothing to do with me. The spirit of yoga is inside us, it is stronger than anyone or anything else. We take what we want, what works for our bodies, and modify the rest.
Otherwise, is it yoga - or just another flavor of ego - of power and control?
Taylor Wells owns Prana Power Yoga in Newton, MA with her husband Philippe.
Comments
Dear Taylor,
With all due respect - the teacher who lashed out at you was clearly in the wrong in the way he handled the situation.
I have been teaching yoga for 4 plus years, practicing for 37 years and running a Cambridge, MA studio for the past year and a half.
My philosophy is quite a bit different than yours in some respects. In the classes I teach, like you - - I give students a lot of breathing room and space to modify postures and with difficult postures I teach in stages and encourage students to stay with the stage that is appropriate for them.
However I believe that the classroom is a metaphor for life.
There is a natural flow of nature and the universe.
We get stressed and sick when we live against the natural flow.
As a yoga teacher it’s my job to teach people to stay IN the flow of life. I create that flow in the classroom.
If you are doing head stand while everyone else is in plank - you are clearly OUT of the flow. There is a certain chemistry and flow BETWEEN the teacher and between all the students in the class. We are creating our own mini - flow within the confines of the classroom. If someone needs to come OUT of the flow for any reason—I tell them to take child’s pose until they are ready to get back into the flow.
For the past 4 years I have been studying Prana Vinyas Flow with Shiva Rea. She is a very powerful and evolved teacher and I can tell you right now that when you are in her class— you are staying IN the flow (or doing a modification) no matter what. She does not even let you take child’s pose. I know this first hand.
But the reason she is such an amazingly effective teacher - - unlike the teacher you mentioned—is that she teaches with LOVE at all times. As a student in her class you want nothing more than to stay IN the flow at all costs—both in her classroom and in life.
I understand that there are MANY teachers who don’t teach with this kind of command - -
Personally her teaching style works for me because it forces me out of my comfort zone—and after all - - if I didn’t need a little push—why take a yoga class?
It takes a very confident and gifted teacher to create this atmosphere in the classroom without alienating students.
I am eternally grateful for the loving discipline she creates in the classroom for her students to thrive and grow.
In the long run everyone wins!
Dee Greenberg
Om City Yoga, Cambridge, MA
Dee,
I think you make some beautiful points here. I will be very curious to hear your thoughts Taylor! Shiva Ray is a teacher who many other teachers point to as an inspiration and guru. I would love to have Shiva Ray contribute to this discussion and become part of the Misstropolis community. The yoga spirit here is very strong, and I think she would add so much and also gain a lot from being a part of it. If you would like to ask her to pipe in to this discussion, that would be wonderful.
Best,
Robin
Dear Dee,
I too believe the classroom or our “matts” are a metaphor for our lives. I have been a student of Prana’s and Taylor’s for many years now, and am gratefull that I have a community where I can practice yoga with amazing people and teachers who allow me the freedom to be “myself” even if that means doing something a little bit different than the “class flow”. At times, I am 100% with the flow of the class. Other times however, my body advises me to try something different, which Taylor has encouraged me to listen to, and follow. In Life, I believe there are times to stand together with our communities, and then there are also times when we need to speak our truths which may be quite different from what our communites believe in. It takes courage to do so, and that is what I believe Taylor encourages in her classes...the courage to release the fear we hold in our bodies and our minds and find the freedom of our spirits and “be authentic”.
Now I have yet to show up to Taylor’s class doing a hula dance, but I’m sure that if I did, I would be allowed to say.
Namaste,
Maura
As a teacher at Taylor’s studio I can only say that Taylor and Philippe have built a beautiful community of healing and respect. I have been to OM City and also feel that they have a beautiful community there also! As an insider at the studio I have seen the way Taylor operates and it is from a constant place of nurturing energy--a beautiful teacher and a beautiful light. I have grown immensely in my teaching based on her example.
I used to come from a place of believing that yoga was a discipline (which it is) and that we must keep the flow and strongly encourage students to not resist the flow, for yes, it is a metaphor for life. I used to always say-when brought to the edge-do we run or do we take one more breath? The teacher in search of the breakthrough for every student! Obviously it would be great for them to take the breath, to go a little further, but maybe they just weren’t there that day. I started to think, in veiweing yoga as a discipline and constantly harping on not backing away when the edge was there-was this my issue of wanting people to heal and not back away from themselves--is this the path of honoring ones own healing journey? To believe that one must always be brought to the edge and discouraged from resisting? I get it. I get that resistance is not good, but some just can’t go cold turkey and can’t be made to feel like failures or wimps (for lack of a better word) because they didn’t go the distance or they chose to take child’s pose. I never discourage child’s pose.
I am a student of Shiva Ray and I hear what Dee is saying and I also believe that as a teacher-we ride the balance between a disciplined flow and respect for one’s own journey (like Maura said.) I feel like sometimes teachers I have taken class with (at other studios not just Boston area) can come off as “forced healing” in their approach. Bringing people to their “edge” making sure they aren’t backing away from the natural flow and this “metaphor of life.” Now I feel, people show up because they want to heal, let them unfold as they will. I will never forget Taylor once said to me, “honor that they showed up and let them take it from there.” Yoga means “union with self"-listening to self, honoring self, and strengthenning yourself to become your own teacher-however long it takes. Could be lifetimes, as we know. I see each of my students as divine and with the god given gift to heal themselves and others. I feel honored to be a part of their journey, but I honor that it’s their journey. I may work with leading a horse to water but if they choose not to drink am I going to judge that they are backing away from the natural flow and they MUST stay with it? Who am I to discourage child’s pose--isn’t that one of the most beautiful teachers of the concept of surrender? Maybe they’re not ready and I have to honor that. You never know what’s behind someone and some people are really dealing with heavy plates. We’re not all on the same time line, or in the same flow. And that’s OK, I feel it’s our job as teachers to orchestrate that-to weave all the different levels of flow into one web.
I have taken class with Dee, who I think is am amazing teacher. I have taken class with Shiva, who I think is amazing, and I have taken class with Taylor, again, amazing. I think that the beauty of this community the yoga teachers and studios have created in boston is that students can get a variety of ways to heal and can learn from the beautiful Boston teachers. Boston has built a strong healing community and as teachers and students we should all be proud of the internal and external progress we have made. Namaste-love and respect for all, Jacqui
Hi Jacqui,
First of all thank you for the kind words about me and my studio.
RE:
I feel like sometimes teachers I have taken class with (at other studios not just Boston area) can come off as “forced healing” in their approach. Bringing people to their “edge” making sure they aren’t backing away from the natural flow and this “metaphor of life.” Now I feel, people show up because they want to heal, let them unfold as they will. I will never forget Taylor once said to me, “honor that they showed up and let them take it from there.” Yoga means “union with self"-listening to self, honoring self, and strengthenning yourself to become your own teacher-however long it takes. Could be lifetimes, as we know.
**************************************************
As far as teachers who constantly push students to their edge, I think this is both ludicrous, dangerous and not at all what yoga is about.
But this whole question is quite interesting. Finding the balance between creating discipline in the classroom and also creating freedom for students to explore things for themselves.
I feel my classes strike a very good balance between these two aspects of practice. I hope to find the time to elaborate on this in a future post.
For now - I would just like to say that I feel it comes down to the basic question of how do we as teachers motivate students to move past their self-imposed limitations? I thinks this is part of our job.
I think there are two extremes that we sometimes see in teachers.
You have the militant - - nazi type like the one Taylor mentioned in her post—who humiliates students in a hostile manner. To me this is not yoga. But on the other hand I think some teachers are just way to laisez faire as far as allowing the class to be a free for all with not enough direction and discipline.
I thinks Shiva has found the happy medium between these 2 extremes. She is my role model and I attempt to create a similar atmosphere in my classes.
I would love to share more about how I accomplish this. No one feels stifled in my classes (at least I hope they don’t!) But I do run a pretty tight ship. I set clear boundaries (like Shiva) as to what is acceptable behavior.
If you teach with love in your heart, I feel anything is possible.
Of course we must accept students limitations and we should NEVER force anyone to go to their edge or go past their edge.
But sometimes strong encouragement goes a long way.
Today I saw a very strong student using a block in Trikonasana and so I asked her why she was using the block. I did not say: You don’t need that block—get rid of it immediately. I questioned her because her form was so strong and she informed me that since she had her baby - her hips were very tight and that before the baby she did not need the block. Of course I backed off.
I think this is an ongoing process—talking to students—encouraging them to utilize their skills - - and also listening to their fears and limitations— accepting who they are in the moment.
That’s all for now—but as I said - - I have some very concrete methods for addressing this issue of creating balance in the classroom.
We don’t have to be nazis— but on the other hand I am a firm believer in structure and format in the classroom environment. Otherwise— if we are not encouraging our students to grow and surpass their self imposed limits - - why would they bother coming to class?
Like the balance between effort and surrender, we need to find the middle ground.
And BTW - - just to clarify—I don’t discourage my students from taking child’s pose - when necessary. As a matter of fact - - I encourage them to take child’s pose any time the breath becomes strained. Shiva has another way of dealing with this issue which I hope to elaborate on in a future post.
Namaste,
Dee
Dee, great response-very true. This is what makes you a great teacher and a committed healer is recognizing this balance. Taylor has the same approach, as do I. I think what Taylor and myself have attempted to do in our postings (as well as you) is to draw awareness to the fact that there is a balance that has to go on. I too run a tight ship, but a nurturing one. That’s what makes a good teacher. Like Shiva, the teacher where students want to go further while practicing ahimsa because she brings you to the water and makes you totally want to drink!! I think what Taylor has done is beautiful-to draw awareness to the fact that yoga teachers do need to provide that balance-that if goes too much in one direction-we lose sight of what we are doing and then it’s our issue. Our issue to coddle or to push--a good teacher finds the balance of offering both and getting themselves out of the way!! I have taken your class-you do this quite well, as does Taylor and all the teachers at Prana. If you haven’t been to Prana, you should check it out sometime and I encourage my teachers to do the same with Om City! We all have alot to offer each other! I am enjoying the dialogue. Much love and respect, Jacqui
Hi Jacqui,
It *is* an interesting discussion especially now with so many new studios opening and tons of people training to become yoga teachers.
It’s unfortunate but I think the inevitable result of yoga’s popularity is that the quality of the teaching suffers when it becomes nothing more than a fad or fitness craze for a lot of people.
I appreciate the sentiment of your email and I would love to get out and take classes at your studio.
However I *do* take issue with one thing you said.
Our issue to coddle or to push--a good teacher finds the balance of offering both and getting themselves out of the way!!
I strongly disagree with this.
Coddling is not something that belongs in a yoga class.
To coddle students (BTW coddle literally means to overprotect) is not at all the job of a yoga teacher. Pushing students is also not our job.
I believe the two extremes that you speak of are:
Nurturing (which is entirely different than coddling)
(nurturing means to bring up, to nourish, to educate)
and the other extreme which is encouraging students to find their edge - - which is entirely different than pushing.
A good teacher does not push a student.
Our job as teachers is to guide our students towards the inner light.
Shiva has a great way of expressing this. She says that as teachers we are like River Guides. The real teacher is the River itself.
Good point Dee--my words were wrong. I agree with you--to “nurture” and to “find their edge” is the wording I usually use and guess I didn’t realize the true meaning of coddle, and thought it was very similar to nurture--and “push” was the wrong word to use, I really meant encourage--as I have stated several times in previous emails. You don’t really need to “take issue” it came from a good place and you’re right, my words were wrong. You had stated in your first email “if I didn’t need a push--why go to a yoga class” so maybe that’s where it resonated with me. Thanks for the feedback. Namaste, Jacqui
Hi Jacqui,
Your right - - I *did* use the word “push.”
I think “nudge” might’ve been a better choice.
I guess a little push now and then is OK as long as we know when to back off
I think I *do* feel a bit pushed by my teachers and I think a skillful teacher can pull this off without it feeling intrusive. I LOVE being pushed into a posture that I thought was beyond my reach.
But actually it feels more like guidance than being pushed.
The word “push” unfortunately sounds a bit domineering.
None of us wants to feel dominated especially not in a yoga class!
Taylor, Dee, and Jacqui,
Wow! What a dialogue! I am a student at Prana and have thought of trying a class at Om City, so this was an interesting observation in how teachers define themselves, their practices, and their teaching styles. What I like about the Power practice in an
all levels class.
is the space to work an asana at my level. Having practiced yoga years before I started a power practice, I knew of the philosophy of a pose shouldn’t be forced, nor should yoga hurt. I held that while I embarked on my journey and it has allowed me to back off when my body is not ready AND to go further when I am ready.Yoga has helped me through fears, helped me cope with elder care issues, and allows me to release emotions on my mat. It is an integral part of my spiritual practice.
Every Thanksgiving for the past few years, I go to my cousin’s house in the Hudson Valley. A few years back, my cousin’s wife said there was a day after Thanksgiving yoga class and she was trying to recruit family members to join her. I enthusiastically expressed my interest and a tradition was born. Now, every year, the day after Thanksgiving, we take a yoga class together. It’s a nice family bonding experience.
This past year, we drove to Woodstock for our traditional apres Thanksgiving yoga class. In the car with us were a couple of yoga teachers who taught at other local studios. The discussion in the car after class turned to the teacher’s frustrations in running a ‘drop in class.’ They were frustrated that they couldn’t start a class at one level and take it to the next level. They felt they were always starting from the beginning again. I was baffled with these comments. I wanted to say something, but the listener in me was curious so I stayed quiet.
After reading this string of comments and remembering my post Thanksgiving yoga teacher discussion, it occurs to me that there’s a difference in philosophy among teachers. I feel at Prana, a good teacher will hold the sacred space that is the studio and in that space, the student is free to explore the flow. For my practice, I take that to mean listening to the guidance of the teacher and do what I can. If the sun salutations are too much for me that day, I won’t do as many of them, and I’ll stay in child’s pose, catch my breath, and make sure I’m present for the next sequence I choose to be a part of. If I don’t honor my body, I pay for it later.
Perhaps the ego that Taylor refers to in her article is the difference between holding the space of the studio while being a guide, and feeling the need for the class to go to the next level that the yoga teachers I met last fall referred to.
I have thought about taking a yoga techer training, but haven’t done so yet. I have too much on my plate right now for such an undertaking. However, this string has definitely given me food for thought should I add ‘yoga teacher’ to my healing repertoire.
Thanks for the provocative discussion.
Namaste,
Caroline
I loved Taylor’s article. I have seen too many yoga teachers with with oversized egos that take it personally when anyone either takes it down a notch or steps it up. The truth is we are all moving at different paces. I teach children and teenagers, and each class I teach has several levels of experience. One of my yogi teens told me she tried another studio and was chastised when she took child’s pose. She wondered about that since I have a different message. I told her that I was certain she probably saw her as a strong, experienced yogi and was just trying to be encouraging. But in my heart, I often wish that teachers recognized that there’s a story behind each face. This teen suffered from debilitating depression as a result of being pushed and overscheduled and feeling like she never measures up. So doing less for her is actually healing!!!! But Jacqui, even reading your dialogue above was another gift you give others. You are a river—always flowing, never reacting and spreading that good cheer everywhere. Same for Shiva Rea and Taylor—I LOVE their classes and always follow their guidance but I don’t think I’ve ever been to a yoga class where there wasn’t someone doing their own thing. Haven’t met the other yogis on this blog but one day! xo, Mary Kaye
All true points!! But!
This is all being made too complicated!!!
Asana is simple. The postures are simple. Yoga does not mean asana alone. Gymnastics is not yoga!
Do the asana and prepare for meditation, samadhi, union with God consciousness. This is yoga.
Love yourself and others! Serve others and your self!!! Be well! Namaste!!
This is not complicated—this is dialog. Who said anything about gymnastics?
to caroline, dee, jacqui, mary kaye, maura, robin, zimbabwe woman, and zoro,
thank you so much for all of your heartfelt and thoughtful comments about my article.
i actually believe that my original title before the editing process, “issues of power and control on the mat: when the essence of yoga gets lost” pretty much says it all in a nutshell.
everyone has their own definition of what “the essence of yoga” is to them, and i believe that it is essential to be very clear about this before one begins to instruct others in asana.
i also believe that issues very unrelated to the essence of yoga--whatever that means to you--can all too easily bubble up when one is teaching asana without being centered in who they are and what their intention is.
the purpose of my article, which was originally much longer and i believe lost some of its clarity in the editing process, was simply to raise this issue and open up a dialogue, as it certainly has done.
and for this, i am grateful.
i had not seen this issue written and/or spoken about often, and so i felt it was time.
thanks again for all of the great dialogue.
you are all beautiful spirits, and your contribution is appreciated by all.
have the best day ever!!
namaste!!
taylor
Hi Taylor and everyone else who is enjoying this dialogue.
Thanks for mentioning the essence of yoga.
Here is a link to a video I shot recently at a workshop with Shiva Rea. I think this video beautifully captures the essence of yoga as expressed by my teacher Shiva.
I shot this video on Friday morning in Lenox, MA at around 11 AM as Shiva Rea’s Fluid Power Intensive was beginning to wind down. After 5 long days of practicing yoga together, rather than seeing us off with a melancholy goodbye with accompanying sadness and hugs, Shiva decided to send us off with a healthy blast of Shakti. The results speak for themselves.
http://yogidee.typepad.com/journal/2007/08/shakti-blast-sh.html
Dee: She’s genius. I plan to incorporate similar concept in my classes! Loved it. I too thank you all for the dialogue. I think everyone’s heart is in the right place. Cheers to all! Mary Kaye
Hi Mary Kaye -
Genius is about the only way to describe her. I could not agree more.
Here is another video from the last few minutes of 3 days of Yoga Trance Dance Teacher Training. This came after about 1/4 of those in attendance had a community melt down. I have never seen more evidence of Shivas’ genius in the way she handled this melt down.
Someone spontaneously started crying (as students sometimes do).
And rather than ignore it Shiva encouraged her to go with it and let the tears flow. She began to create a healing circle around this woman. It became contagious and eventually there were about 15 people in the middle of the room—some were sobbing hysterically. Shiva held the space for all of this to happen without losing the rest of us. We all became integral in laying on of hands and offering support to all who were crying. Afterwards (about a good half hour or so it seemed - - ) She had us form a huge circle and she put on the song Imagine by John Lennon . . .
See the results here:
http://yogidee.typepad.com/journal/2007/08/imagine-by-jo-1.html
IN THE DAYS TO COME I WILL BE POSTING MORE VIDEOS AND PHOTOS FROM MY RECENT 8 DAYS WITH SHIVA - -
PLEASE CHECK MY BLOG FOR NEW MATERIAL:
http://yogidee.typepad.com/
NAMASTE
To All –
I am a registered yoga teacher and regular practitioner at Prana Power Yoga. To me yoga is not about push, pull, structure or discipline. Yoga is faith. It teaches us connection, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness and above all humility. Our job as teachers is to provide guidance and a safe place for people to explore these things. A good teacher plants the seed. A good student nurtures it and allows it to grow.
In a society that is so competitive, where people are constantly accessible and encumbered by the expectation to have perfect bodies, be perfect employees, spouses, parents, children and friends; yoga is the one place where people can let go and be themselves.
I began practicing yoga as a Bikram student six years ago. I am grateful to this style of yoga because it brought me to yoga and opened me up to all its possibilities. However, its militant style added to the stress and competitiveness of my life rather than reducing it. I discovered Prana four years ago and have remained committed to it ever since. Taylor, Jacqui, Jene and all the teachers at Prana inspire me, not because they give me freedom to go out of the flow but because they empower me to let go of fear and relax into the flow. I leave each class feeling strong, confident and better prepared to handle the challenges of the day ahead.
I would challenge all of us as students and teachers of yoga to let go of our ideas and expectations of what yoga is and what it means to be in the flow. I would encourage us to open our hearts and minds and learn from each other so that we can reap the benefits and deepen our own yoga experience.
Namaste.
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