Misstropolis

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Are You Letting Yourself Down?

by Maxie 42

Email to a friendPrint this article

Oprah Winfrey has brought a lot of previously verboten topics out into the open – and one of them is near and dear to my heart, literally. It’s my breasts. Or as Oprah calls them, “the girls.” Thanks to Oprah’s forthrightness, and the entrepreneurialism of Susan Nethero, founder of Intimacy, the premiere bra fitting specialists, we now know that 85% of us are wearing the wrong size bra. And that almost every woman has breast issues.

My problem was breasts that were too big. My boobs enter a room before I do. They have been the bane of my existence for decades. And now that I’m middle-aged, post-menopausal and carrying too much weight, it’s even worse. I was the first girl at school to wear a bra at my school, so I discovered early on that the wrong boys were attracted to women with large breasts. On top of that, clothes never looked as good on me as they did on other people. 

I’ve suffered from straps that slip, backs that ride, underwires that jab or sit halfway down my stomach, cups that overflow and an overall look that is not terribly attractive. Since Target and Marshall’s usually carry only up to 40-42 DD, I have grabbed those and called that my size. But the truth is, my bras didn’t work. My breasts hung out at elbow level, and I wasn’t comfortable until I came home and sprung free, slipping on a comfy worn-in (and worn-out) cotton jersey old thing.

Then I caught the Oprah re-run where breasts were the subject. Nothing was off-limits for discussion, and suddenly I longed for the liberation of a properly fitting bra – whatever the price. I was very excited for my appointment at Intimacy – and yes, making appointments is recommended, though they will take everyone; you just might have to wait a while. 

Every sales person there is sensitive to each customer’s level of modesty and potential discomfort during this fitting process. I was comfortable just getting down to it. The Intimacy approach is “holistic,” meaning no measuring, and the staff is intuitive and informed. To my great surprise, my bandwidth went down – and the cup size roared into an area of the alphabet I didn’t know existed when it came to bra sizes. (But I believe it goes up to ii.) I learned that the band provides 90% of the support, the straps merely hold up both flesh and well-constructed cups.

The first two bras I tried were too tight – they made red impressions right under my breasts within two minutes, and I wasn’t comfortable at all. Then came, “I think this will chafe as my arms move against the bra,” and “too jiggly” and a bunch of other negative comments that made me feel like I was being difficult. But these are the things that matter. It helped determine size and style. 

The bras I’d been trying were nude, white and black – the utilitarian variety I was accustomed to. Then Joanna came in with a mesh bra with embroidered flowers on it. I instantly voiced my fear of itchiness. But this bra was soft. And there were “the girls,” halfway between shoulder and elbow. They were neither conical or smooshed. And, wonder of wonders, it was a PRETTY BRA. That was the least of my considerations going into this experiment, but I cannot tell you how long it’s been since I even uttered those words in relation to myself. 

So what if it was French and perhaps the most expensive piece of clothing I’d bought in light years. I walked out wearing it, noting the wastebasket full of tired bras in the back of the store. And it’s true, I looked lighter, younger, and probably ten pounds thinner – but more important, I felt balanced. Like I’d found my center, my core.

My next appointment, with Irene Rodda, personal bra fitter and shopper, was equally informative and actually fun. She met me at the Natick Collection, and after a quick perusal of sizes in Macy’s and another store, realized we had to head to Nordstrom’s. Like many entrepreneurs, Irene has been doing this for 10 years for friends and family, then last year made it an official business. Perfect timing for her, now that everyone wants a perfect fit.

She uses a tape measure, first right under the breasts for bandwidth, then over the fullest part to give her a range for cup size. But she knows all too well that bands aren’t standardized. Neither is cup size, which makes trying on a variety of bras imperative. Her biggest piece of advice is, “Don’t be afraid of salespeople,” and “Don’t get talked into anything.” Irene knows that if it doesn’t fit, it won’t get better.

But she also advises against “sister sizing.” That’s when you compensate with a bigger bandwidth and a smaller cup – or vice versa. The band should fit tightly – and you always want to start on at least the middle hook. Never use the hooks that give the greatest width because all bras stretch and if you begin there you have no place to go. 

Getting fitted for a bra isn’t rocket science, and does involve some artistic leeway. Finding a well-fitted bra will depend on the brand, the materials, the style and how you are shaped. And ultimately, comfort and the way you look in clothes will be the deciding factors. 

So, don’t let your breasts down – go get fitted! 

Irene Rodda, personal bra shopper & fitter, 617.997.1705; (call for appointments)

Photos courtesy of Intimacy